Is this the place for me?

I’ve been living in Gensan for almost six years already. But until now, I still haven’t fallen in love with this place. I’ve made numerous plans to leave but until now, I’m still stuck. Well, I admit that when my brothers and cousin were still living with me, I felt OK, though I knew, deep in my heart, living here is just temporary.

And now that I’m staying in this almost always-empty BQ, I feel so…homesick. Like the way I felt when I was a freshman (high school) in Pisay (Davao) and then again in Iligan (college).

But after a while, I’ve always learned to adjust and love the places I’ve lived for four years – especially Davao. But Gensan is just sooo different. Maybe because I don’t live in a boarding house full of people anymore. BQ in MSU is like an alien place – now that Maam Gie has retired and Angem is back in Iligan. Ate Zita locks herself up in her room most of the time, Ate Caring and Ems go to their respective homes during the weekends. To make matters worse, we don’t really have neighbors – except for Sir Monching, who seldom visits now because Angem is no longer here. And MSU’s location!!! Argh! It’s too far from civilization. Something I should learn to accept if I’m gonna stay longer here coz there’s nothing I could do about it.

I miss having people to talk to during Saturdays. Maybe I’ll just work again during Saturdays next semester. Or I’ll have to find a new job (?) in Davao or something.

Sometimes, it’s just too much to bear. I feel like riding all the way to Davao to be with my brothers. I wanna be home! Wherever that is.