Invest in Yourself: Enhancing Communication Skills

At a young age, I’ve trained myself to avoid conflict by not speaking up. I grew up in a home where kids were not encouraged to voice their opinions. They were also punished for “talking back” or expressing their thoughts and chiming in adult conversations. So I learned to keep my thoughts to myself and became very quiet.

I’m also the eldest in my family and also the eldest grandchild on my mother’s side. I was the “apple of their eyes” and I didn’t like disappointing them, which made me a big people-pleaser. One time when I was about 12 years old, my brothers and cousins got into a fight. I rushed in to stop them from hurting each other. I didn’t want to “rock the boat.” I took my brothers home even though my cousins were at fault. Eventually, I accepted the blame. I remained silent when I was scolded for something that wasn’t even my fault.

How did this back story impact my communication skills? Well, I became a “fawn” type of communicator. I would focus on keeping the peace and avoid arguments and conflicts. I became less assertive.

As I progress in my career, soft skills like communication became more and more important. I have to be more clear and confident in my written and verbal communication. It’s not enough to have technical skills. You need to express your ideas and explain technical concepts to everyone – both technical and business folks.

I became more self-aware of my need to improve my way of communicating. I looked for ways to be better. I started with Toastmasters but I felt like it didn’t help me much. I searched online for other programs or services I can try that would help me and came across Expressable. I just had my evaluation last week so I’m excited to hear what they have to say.

I also came across an app called Elevate. I really like it and would highly recommend using it. Instead of endlessly scrolling through Facebook, you take a minute or two to engage in brain exercises. These exercises are highly engaging, educational, and informative.

I also watched a lot of Youtube videos on improving communication at the workplace. Some Youtubers I recommend are: Kara Ronin, Communication Coach Alexander Lyon, and Jeffeson Fisher.

It’s only been a week but I feel like I’ve seen small improvements! I am always wary of spending money on services and apps. Nonetheless, I highly encourage others to invest in themselves! Communication is a tool for us to connect with others. This includes family, friends, and co-workers. It pays to be good at it!